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"Twilight" review, pg 110 [Dec. 2nd, 2009|09:07 pm]
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Okay, I admit it.
I'm reading Twilight. But not because I think it's a beautiful, riveting literary masterpiece. It's junk food, plain and simple. In an effort to maintain my masculinity, I'm going to blog a play-by-play review of the book.

What qualifies me, a writer with only one published (picture) book to review a New York Times bestselling novel? The Internet, that's what.

I'm on page 110, chapter 6 so far.
My first critique is that the characters don't seem to act like real people would act. Bella takes everything that Edward does way more personally than a real person would. After he saves her life from the speeding van, she doesn't seem at all shaken up or frightened after the life-threatening incident. She only seems pissed off at Edward for not answering her questions and pointlessly self conscious when "I almost died of humiliation when they put on the neck brace". Not a trace or residual fear. Come on.

Edward is sullen, then suave, then amused, then angry, then violent, then amused again. He tells her to go away, then asks her to go out of town with him, then tells her to go away again. For a hundred year old vampire (OMG SPOILER!) he sure acts like a professional teenager. I fail to see any chemistry whatsoever between him and Bella, besides the fact that she puts up with his misogynistic bullcrap.

I really am trying to keep an open mind about the writing style, but it's very difficult when, in chapter 1, Meyer writes:
"But all this is not why I couldn't look away."
(the quotes are mine- the line is written as internal dialogue).
Bella's first view of Edward contains both a double-negative and tense confusion ('is' in present tense, 'couldn't' in past tense). Good grief.
"But Aaron, if you don't like it, why are you even reading it?" You might ask.
Because I can't understand the torrent of hype associated with the "Twilight Phenomenon". The fact that this stinker is a best seller is literarily fascinating to me.
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NoNoWriMo update! [Nov. 12th, 2009|08:14 pm]
[Current Mood |creative]


Hooray! I'm participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). To keep myself motivated, here's a snippet of the novel I'm working on right now!


"Monster Season" (working title)- excerpt

Danny nearly collided with the zombie he’d followed to class as the two of them bounded into the classroom.

“You two are extraordinarily lucky.” Said a massive basso voice. Danny looked up and nearly screamed aloud.

The classroom was a perfectly normal-looking one by human standards. Wooden floors, metal student desks with the wire baskets underneath them, bookshelves, chalk boards, and a larger desk at the front of the classroom for the teacher.

Only the desk at the front of the room was the size of a countertop at a fast food restaurant. And the teacher was similarly sized.

Behind the desk crouched a massive monster, nearly seven feet high (while on its haunches, Danny noticed). It looked remarkably like the statues at the door of the school. Its head was the size of a trash can, with huge curling horns raking forward from its scalp. Tiny, beady black eyes peered out from under a massive stone brow, wicked looking fangs protruding up from a long jaw. As it moved from behind the desk, its joints made a sound like gravel being trodden underfoot. Its jaw moved, and for a moment Danny worried the creature was going to dive on him and devour him whole. Instead, it held a piece of paper up to its tiny eyes and growled,

“Mister… McNair? Please take your seat, or I’ll count you as tardy.”


Stay turned for more teasers!
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Brigits Flame Writing Community, October 2009, week 4 [Oct. 28th, 2009|10:29 pm]

Brigits Flame Writng Community

October 2009- week 4

Topic: “Hands”

Title: “Deeper”

 

“Careful with that,” Ronnie said. I nodded as I twisted the wheel exactly four times counter-clockwise.

“I know, I know. Just like at home, right?” I said.

“No, NOT just like at home.” Ronnie said. “Come on man, we’ve been doing this for four months. Yeah, it’s similar, but you’ve got to pay more attention. The Ruskies do this differently.”
 

Read more... )
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Brigits Flame, October 2009, week 2 [Oct. 16th, 2009|12:29 pm]
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Brigits Flame Writing Community

October, 2009, week 2

Topic: “Navel”

Title: “Kettlegeist”

“Okay, I think this is it. Rodney, get that camera over here.” Dave said, his eyes locked on the blinking piece of equipment in his hands. He checked the microphone clipped on his jacket then looked directly into the camera as the red light on its side came on.

“We’re back, and this time I think we’ve really found the center of this haunting.”

Read more... )
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Brigits Flame Writing Community, October 2009, Week 1 [Oct. 7th, 2009|10:05 pm]

I'm so excited about October. Enjoy!

Brigits Flame Writing Community

October 2009, Week 1

Topic: “Instep”

Title: “Formation”


The carcasses were everywhere. There were soldiers milling all about in the aftermath of the attack, most looking for survivors. I knew somewhere deep inside that they wouldn’t find any.


Read more... )
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What is going on in Gainesville? [Oct. 2nd, 2009|01:44 pm]

Before you begin asking, yes, this is COMPLETELY legit. This was available on the University of Florida web page until earlier yesterday, when it was taken down (I suppose due to heavy traffic). I found a copy of it on an independent blog.

 
 
 
http://chalkboard.blogs.gainesville.com/files/2009/10/zombieplan.pdf

That's right, true believers. University of Florida has a contingency plan in case of zombie apocalypse. Which begs the question: why? Do they know something we don't? Does Gainesville have a Department of Undead Biology currently creating a zombie virus, in the hopes of mass-marketing and selling a cure? Or did something go horribly and tragically wrong when they were trying to clone Tim Tebow?
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Brigits Flame, September 2009, Week 2 [Sep. 11th, 2009|12:54 pm]

Brigits Flame Writing Community

Week 2, September 2009

Topic: “Gear”

Title: “Preparations”

“Oh man, I am SO getting this.”

I looked over to where Donny was standing, bent over the glass display case. Gingerly, as if it were a newborn child, he lifted a sheathed katana from the case and held it reverently in front of me.

Read more... )
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Brigits Flame, September 2009 Week 1 [Sep. 4th, 2009|01:15 pm]

Brigits Flame Writing Community

Week 1, September 2009

Topic: “Parasite”

Title: “Acquaintances”

Enjoy!


Read more... )
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Brigits Flame, August 2009, Week 3 [Aug. 23rd, 2009|10:32 am]

Brigits Flame Writing Community

August 2009- Week 3

Topic: “Something old and something new”

Title: “Again, for a day”
 

Enjoy!

Read more... )
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Brigits Flame: Aug 2009, Week 2 [Aug. 13th, 2009|06:20 pm]

Brigits Flame Writing Community

Week 2: August 2009

Topic: “Brave and Crazy”

Title: “Fear Like a Child”

I hope you guys enjoy! :D

Read more... )
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(no subject) [Aug. 7th, 2009|06:17 pm]
[Current Mood |creative]

So today I took some time to actually model the thing I was trying to describe yesterday. I think it looks cool!




I sort of doubt that the owner will go for it, but a boy can dream...
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Stuff from work [Aug. 6th, 2009|08:12 pm]
[Current Mood |accomplished]


So, I'm FINALLY off of the prison project at work. I couldn't share anything from that project online (Bureau regulations), but now I'm working on an old movie house in Liberty, KY, and I'm really excited about it.

Inside the auditorium of the theater, the projection booth projects a bit from the back wall (that it shares with the restrooms). Said back wall can be seen below:

The walls to the left and the right (with the curve) conceal the bathrooms. See below for the architectural drawing:

But, the bathrooms are only on the first floor. so right now the only reason to bring the walls all the way to the ceiling is to hide the bathroom noise. I had another idea: end the walls about 8' up, and add curved metal details instead. Here's what I ended up with after sketching for a few minutes:

...I think I've been watching Graham play too much Bioshock.
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Brigits Flame, week 1, August 2009 [Aug. 2nd, 2009|09:49 pm]
Read more... )

See above: My entry for Brigits Flame Writing Community,
Week: 1 Aug 09
Topic: "Smoke and Mirrors"
Title: "Lights Out"

I hope you all enjoy it!
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Cause, eh, why not? [Aug. 2nd, 2009|12:16 pm]
For the win, and the lulz, another Loaded Question:

What is one gift (that someone could give you) that would totally turn you on?

 (Anonymous posting enabled, for giggles)
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Hey, look! Another one! [Jul. 29th, 2009|12:23 pm]
Straight from the proverbial horse's mouth:


(image desaturated so this post is distinguishable from my LAST post)

"What song, if played during sex, would completely ruin the act for you?"
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Something else fun [Jul. 28th, 2009|12:42 pm]
When I ordered the "Would you rather" game, I also ordered this:



For maximum fun, I'm going to enable anonymous posting.

"If you opened up a present from your significant other, what would you LEAST expect to find?"
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Musings [Jul. 13th, 2009|05:22 pm]
[Current Location |home]

I wrote about this in my paper journal, but it seemed so relevent to the people who read my journal, it made sense to repost it here.

I had what was without a doubt the most fun weekend I've yet had in my life last weekend. Lauren and Danny's wedding was beautiful, and I am humbled and honored that I could have played a role in their ceremony. And the reception was the best party I've ever been to. After dark, when most of the guests had left, I found myself looking around, and I noticed something; the only people left in the place was "our gang". We were all dancing, joking (and yes, drinking), and then, moreso that ever before, I realized something: I love you guys (no, I'm NOT drunk, I promise). Even to those who don't read my journal and may never see this, I have a deep love for you guys.

This, naturally, lead me to another conclusion; that, in all likelihood, we won't get the whole "gang" back together for a very long time. And, being me, I started to worry that it might be possible that we'd never see everyone together like that again. But I refuse to let that happen. You guys are, without a doubt, the best friends I've ever known, and franly I can't imagine ever having <i>better</i> friends. More now than ever, we're separated by distance and circumtances, but I don't want that to stand in our way. Let's make plans, once a year at minimum, no matter where we are or where we find ourselves, to do it again.

Love you guys.
comments are screened, mostly because this wasn't an easy entry to write.
.
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(no subject) [Jun. 21st, 2009|09:15 pm]


So Rebecca's been gone about 4 weeks now, and so far, I'm mostly doing okay.

The first week was rough, the second week was awful, and the third week was hell on wheels. Just cleared the fourth week, and I'm feeling a little better now. The loneliness has been getting to me lately, though. I struggled with a little depression during weeks two and three, then into four. As far as that goes, I've been on the upswing since last Saturday. Still feeling pretty good.

Thanks so much to all my friends who've been there for me, and continue to be there for me.
That said, I'm still bored as hell most nights. Give me a call if you want to hang.

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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2009|09:33 pm]
Tell me a secret.



(yes, screened).
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Brigits Flame Writing Community- May 2009, week 2 [May. 14th, 2009|09:41 pm]
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Brigits Flame Writing Community

May 2009- Week 2

Topic: “Morning Glory”

Title: “Feral”

 

Her adrenaline smelled unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It was sharp and cold, like the taste of metal. It was distinct, and once I picked it up I couldn’t ignore it any more than I could ignore my need to breathe. I could feel the fear in her like hearing a tune that I’d heard a thousand times. I knew each beat and each chord, and could sing along with it. Her heart beating out a staccato rhythm in her chest, flooding her body with the intoxicating adrenaline, was a beat I could not resist.

 

At once, the muscles in my body exploded, and I sprang from my hiding pace in the darkness. She heard me, a second too soon, and was running again. She knew these woods, better than I did. I didn’t notice the tree limbs and nettles as I tore through the underbrush after her, stealth now totally abandoned. Thrill, joy, and ecstasy were words too tame to describe what was going through my mind. My senses exalted. I would have what I wanted. I would have my prey.

 

Three steps ahead of me, she broke the forest. Poor child, poor sheep, there would be no cover there.

She took three steps from the safety of the forest and found herself on a precipice, little more than a rock outcropping protruding from the mountainside on which I’m been stalking her. Beyond her, the northern Vermont wilderness stretched endlessly, a sea of greens of every verdant shade, glittering silver in the twilight. An early-morning fog had begun to rise from the treetops beyond us, lending the whole scene a ghostly shimmer.

 

I couldn’t help but smile at her.

“No where to run, little sheep,” I growled, the words mangled by fangs and tongue. I leaned back on my haunches and studied her for a moment. “What will you do now?”

Her face didn’t look frightened. Only sad.

I watched as the hazy fog began to change color, from a dark blue-grey to a warm gold as the first fingers of the morning sun broke the mountain, cascading golden light like a tide across the forest.

At once, I began to change.
 

The bones in my body cracked and snapped, and I howled in pain. My spine became short and straight, and I fell to the ground in wracking spasms as the bones in my forepaws began to dissolve, splitting and dividing into fingers. My knees shattered as they reversed direction, and the pain stole the breath from my body.
 

My skin seared like fire as the hair all over my body began to dissolve back into proteins, being absorbed back into my flesh the way nothing was ever intended to. My teeth grew together, then shrank, until they were little more than tiny white kernels in my mouth.

My vision began to blur, and it felt as if I’d been deafened. All of my senses were being dulled to the point of crippling.
 

Ninety seconds after the metamorphosis had begun, I laid on the ground, a sore, wailing, naked figure. I screamed as I stretched my legs and arms, new and pink, the newly formed bones cracking into place in my body. Every muscle in my body screamed. I rolled over onto my back, and saw Audrey looking down on me.
 

“Sam,” she said, her small voice low with pity.

“Oh God,” I said. “Audrey, it’s still happening.”

My fiancé looked down onto me. “I know Sam.” A tear rolled down one cheek, stained golden in the morning sunlight. “We’re going to have to keep trying.”

The short, petite little witch knelt down and ran a smooth hand across my naked back. I shivered, the touch eliciting needle-like pains along my spine.

“I know, love.” I said, and held onto her. “I’m so sorry.”

She wrapped her arms round me and held me as I began to shiver.

 

 

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